Got Peace?

There are numerous definitions to peace, but the one I like the most is “Freedom from disquieting thoughts and feelings.”  For purposes of this post, this definition will frame our discussion.  The Apostle Paul told the church at Philippi that if they ceased from worrying, they would experience the peace of God which transcends all understanding and it will guard their hearts and minds (Philippians 4: 4-9).  This peace as described by Paul frees us from disquieting thoughts and feelings – it allows us to be authentic beings.  This is the kind of peace that knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is all and in all.

Today people are searching for peace (although some may not know what they’re searching for) and try to replace it with prestige, pleasure, prosperity, position and popularity.  However, all the peas in the pod count for naught if there is no peace.  Another word being thrown around is – platform.  I often hear people say, “If I had a platform, I would do such and such.”  Sometimes I say to some, “You already have a platform – your life – make it count by living authentically for what you believe in.”  After saying this, some eyes would drop, others will fill with tears and upon subsequent probing I would realize that what they really want is prestige or popularity not a platform.

Please understand that nothing is wrong with prestige, popularity, prosperity or any high position, however, we can better affect others if we are at peace with ourselves.  Peace coupled with anything is like the spice which gives a dish that special umph.  I dare to propose that we all have a platform with each encounter we have with others.  A platform – an opportunity to declare our principles – can be seen each time we treat others with respect, or we stand up for justice or we accept people for who they are and what they bring to the table.  Some of us may not reach thousands, but if we authentically and consistently reach those we are in contact with, God will multiply our efforts and even broaden our platform. 

Malcolm Forbes said it best, “You can judge the character of a man by the way he treats others who can do nothing for him.”   I believe that unless we are at peace with ourselves, we cannot treat others in a respectful manner – both those who can do something for us and those who cannot.
Got peace? I’m just thinking . . .

Everybody Needs Somebody

Hi, I’m Toni and I am an Oprah’s Lifeclass Addict.  Now that we got that out of the way, let me share my thoughts with you. 

On this season of Lifeclass, I was overjoyed to see six women from the Rockville Correctional Institution in the audience via Skype.  Why am I overjoyed to see this?  My intense joy is a result of the recognition that these inmates are no different than we are – people desiring self-improvement – and that they were treated as such.  My heart was truly touched that this correctional institution was truly living up to its purpose of restoring the whole person.  The main purpose of incarceration is to restore the individual through:

·         Retribution

·         Reformation

·         Rehabilitation

However, many times our justice system restores inmates mainly through retribution and they are subsequently released without true reform and not really rehabilitated.  This error is detrimental to the society as a whole, because a ‘revolving door’ cycle ensues – the inmate is released and goes back to his/her former activities is returned to prison and so on.  It should be noted that it is often financially and emotionally cheaper to rehabilitate than to incarcerate. 

Usually, inmates are not thought of very fondly and some of us even believe that we are better than they are.  Albeit, with the right mix of circumstances, stress, mindset and/or [a weapon], any one of us could be incarcerated.  With that in mind, how do you treat an incarcerated person or someone who has recently been released?  Are you your brother’s keeper?  What do we do assist that person to improve their life situation?  What can we do?

Oprah’s Lifeclass is just one tool which can be used as we restore the whole person for reintegration into society.  These classes guide people to become the highest expressions of themselves, which begin with their own awakening.  The awakening includes being awakened to their roles in being incarcerated and the notion that they have a purpose.  Many churches have prison ministries aimed at providing tools for inmates to renter society and the one which I particularly like is Texas Offenders Reentry Initiative (TORI) – a faith based program affiliated with the Potter’s House of Dallas.  The initiative’s motto is ‘Healing the Past to Empower the Future’.  To my mind, when a person recognizes that they have potential to become their best self, and they are given the tools – training and opportunity – we have a person who is less likely to return to prison.  Some prisons also have excellent programs which restore the humanity of their inmates – for example a hospice program at Angola Prison in Louisiana. 

How can we help?  There are many great programs, but I dare say we need more.  Yes, I know that red tape abounds if we want to set up such an ambitious program, however, we can consider donating to programs which educate and prepare inmates for reentering society.  If you have the time, you can join a prison ministry in your church and teach inmates to read or help with GED preparation.  There are myriad opportunities to help others live their best lives. 

Everybody needs somebody and I try every day to be a ‘somebody’ to those I come in contact with.  Can you be somebody to someone today?

I’m just thinking . . .

God Provides!

My last post addressed thinking about others despite your own challenges and how I was able to do it.  This post seeks to address the benefits of fully sharing the hell of others close to you.

As I intimated previously I am facing myriad challenges and took the time to help others.  Well, while I was helping others, God used some others to help me.  One friend who is currently unemployed took the time to pack me a ‘goody bag’ which included among additional things, much needed items such as toilet paper, dishwashing detergent and foil.  Now this act of love just blew me away – here we are both unemployed, yet she shared what she had with me.  Another friend, who knows that I am existing on the basics, blessed me with the luxury of mixed nuts, a sweater and a belt.  Yet another friend felt moved to assist with paying my rent.  All these are miracles to me, because each of my aforementioned friends is also going through trials of their own and took the time to acknowledge my ‘hell’.  Of course these instances of love and care brought tears to my eyes, however, they also reminded me of how I am to treat others in their times of need.  God used them to help me and I have to be open for opportunities to have Him use me to bless others. 

The point of this post is simple – God provides!  When Abraham was about to sacrifice his son Isaac, God provided a ram in the thicket (Genesis22:13).  Jesus expounded on this concept of God’s provision in His teaching about the futility of worrying over life in Luke 12: 22-34.  He said, “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life – whether you have enough food to eat or enough clothes to wear.  For life is more than food, and your body more than clothing.” (vv 22-23)

I was just thinking about the ways God has provided for me and wondered whether you have ways in which He also provided for you.  If He has provided for you, drop me a line.  As per usual, I’m just thinking . . .

It's Not [Always] About You!

 “It’s odd that you can get so anesthetized by your own pain or your own problem that you don’t quite fully share the hell of someone close to you.” Lady Bird Johnson. 

The above quote gave me reason to reflect on my actions.  Within recent times, I’ve been facing some challenges and was tempted to feel sorry for myself.  However, as I remembered a friend who was mourning the passing of her beloved father, another whose lupus had flared up and yet another thrust into the position of taking care of his 90-year old father.  In the grand scheme of things while what I was going through was traumatic, others close to me were going through situations which were just as traumatic and even more in many instances. 

The Apostle Paul gave an excellent example of putting suffering into perspective in his first letter to the church at Corinth – “The temptations (tests/trials) in your life are no different from what others experience.  And God is faithful, He will not allow the temptation (test/trial) to be more than you can stand.  When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so you can endure.” (1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT)  Who better to speak to helping others while undergoing trials than Paul?  He was in prison awaiting execution, yet concerned about the wellbeing of souls of others – writing letters to his congregations and pastors.

So, what do we do when we have trials and others close to us are undergoing trials also?  As for me, I listened to my friend as she recalled memories of her father and researched some homeopathic information about lupus for my other friend, while I gave the other tips on finding a good care-giver for his dad.  We all have to be creative to let others know that we care when they are facing trials.  It might be as simple as listening (no advice necessary), sitting quietly holding the person’s hands or even crying with them.  The wonderful thing is that when we do this, we forget our own trial and it seems small in comparison to when we focus on it.  When I eventually had time to deal with most my pressing challenge, my perspective was different and I was better able to navigate towards a solution (even if not permanent).

What can you do for someone today?  Philippians 2:4 tells us “Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage.  Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.” (MSG)

It’s my prayer that we do not become so anesthetized with our own concerns that we miss the tsunami in the lives of those close to us.  I’m just thinking . . .

Just Thinking: The Color of Character

Just Thinking: The Color of Character: Recently you and I looked at Stevie Wonder’s song ‘ Love’s In Need of Love Today ’ and quickly realized that we were not ‘loving’ or respect...

The Color of Character

Recently you and I looked at Stevie Wonder’s song ‘Love’s In Need of Love Today’ and quickly realized that we were not ‘loving’ or respecting each other as we should.  This love to which I refer is Philia (φιλί) means friendship or affectionate love in modern Greek. It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle.  It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity.  Many of us are familiar with Agape love – also from the Greek – the essence of which is self-sacrifice.  However, I am wrestling right now with philia love in light of the killing of Trayvon Martin. 

Trayvon Martin was a seventeen year old young man who was fatally shot by a gentleman who is the head of the neighborhood watch in a community where Trayvon’s father lives.  It has been reported that there were several robberies in the community with young African-American men as the perpetrators; so upon seeing Trayvon wearing a ‘hoodie’ the gentleman became scared and shot him in self-defense.  Without delving into all the details of the incident, Trayvon (who was unarmed) just happened to be African-American when he lost his life.  This incident reminded me of a line in Dr. Martin Luther King’s famous speech, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skins but by the content of their character.”  This young man was judged simply by the color of his skin and not given an opportunity to display his character.  How often do you and I do the same thing?

In 2012, one would think that Dr. King’s word (spoken in 1963) would have taken some root.  This blatant disrespect for human life was further exacerbated when the police did not find it necessary to investigate the matter any further than the shooter’s claim of self-defense.  What are we saying here?  Does this loyalty (philia love) to friends, family and community apply only when the community looks like we do?  In this multi-cultural, multi-ethnic society in which we live  (considering the world as we know it is shrinking thanks to technology), our community consists of more than the person living next door who looks like us.  Our community is now the Universe, and as such injustice anywhere affects justice everywhere according to Dr. King.  Our futures are interwoven with each other’s whether we want to admit it or not.

Where is our basic humanness or human values?  French born microbiologist, Rene Dubos noted, “Our society is highly expert in controlling the external world and even the human mind, but our relationships with other human beings and the rest of creation are constantly diminishing in significance.”  As citizens of the world, it behooves us to be respectful of each other sans consideration for their race, creed or ethnicity, thereby stalling the rapid deterioration of human significance.  We are all precious in the sight of God and while we acknowledge that people make mistakes, we must do our part to deal justly with others.  The officers of the law failed this young man and if we sit quietly by there will be no justice (for Trayvon and ultimately us) and his life would have lost its significance. 

If you have the opportunity, please read the poem Pax et Amare by Richard S. Pope.  The first verse says, “Man professes love for Man: Man talks of humanity; Yet history belies the talk; History shows Man a lie.”  What happened last month in Florida is now history and it contradicts the words of the Declaration of Independence – that ALL men would be guaranteed the inalienable (unchallengeable) rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Is history showing us to be liars?  Are the rights of some being challenged, while the rights of others are being protected?  I’m just thinking . . .

Fill Your Niche - Part 2

Richard Chang said, “Passion without purpose is meaningless.”  Last week we began looking at identifying our passion and working towards its purpose.  Have you identified what you believe your purpose to be?  If you haven’t quite done that yet, let me help you out.  Let’s begin by considering our entire being – body, personality and Spirit/Soul.

·         Body – do you have the body type required for your purpose?  Are you sick often, do you tire easily?  Maybe you have slender fingers and could be a great hand model.  (Anything to do with your body and its functioning.)

·         Personality – do you have the required personality to carry out your purpose?  For example, are you an introverted, shy person trying to be a television star?

·         Spirit/Soul – this part of your being has a connection with the Creator and should reflect your genuine fulfillment in carrying out your purpose.

Another way we can confirm our purpose is to think about the following:

·         When you were a child, what did you fantasize about doing?

·         What do your friends and family think you’re best suited to?  (These must be trusted individuals in whom you can confide.)

·         Look at your present environment, does it reveal what interests and excites you?

Once you have done an inventory (using the above points as a guide), create a vision statement for yourself (this is the end product you want to see – should be consistent with your character qualities and interests).  The next thing you want to do after creating your vision statement is to create a mission statement.  A mission statement is really a declaration of action i.e. the actions we need to take to accomplish our vision.

With your vision and mission statements in hand, you must now come up with a strategy for filling your niche.  Please note that your strategy will entail setting clear and specific goals and achieving them.  Another thing to be mindful of is that we live in the real world and there will be obstacles.  Obstacles (both internal and external) will seek to quench our drive at times, but here is where you need a support system – friends who will hold you accountable, mentors or family members.  Internal obstacles include negative thoughts and doubt, while external obstacles may include finances, family obligations etc.; however, a good support system will help to buffer the effects and get you back on track. 

Last but not least, try to volunteer in the field in which you’re interested.  That way, you serve the greater good of mankind while learning more about your intended niche.  Volunteering is also a perfect way to get mentors and tell you whether you’re truly filling your niche or chasing fame. 

This medium merely scratches the surface of identifying and pursuing your passion and purpose.  If you need further assistance, do not hesitate to contact me and we can take this journey together.

As usual, I am just thinking . . .