Just Thinking: The Color of Character

Just Thinking: The Color of Character: Recently you and I looked at Stevie Wonder’s song ‘ Love’s In Need of Love Today ’ and quickly realized that we were not ‘loving’ or respect...

The Color of Character

Recently you and I looked at Stevie Wonder’s song ‘Love’s In Need of Love Today’ and quickly realized that we were not ‘loving’ or respecting each other as we should.  This love to which I refer is Philia (φιλί) means friendship or affectionate love in modern Greek. It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle.  It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity.  Many of us are familiar with Agape love – also from the Greek – the essence of which is self-sacrifice.  However, I am wrestling right now with philia love in light of the killing of Trayvon Martin. 

Trayvon Martin was a seventeen year old young man who was fatally shot by a gentleman who is the head of the neighborhood watch in a community where Trayvon’s father lives.  It has been reported that there were several robberies in the community with young African-American men as the perpetrators; so upon seeing Trayvon wearing a ‘hoodie’ the gentleman became scared and shot him in self-defense.  Without delving into all the details of the incident, Trayvon (who was unarmed) just happened to be African-American when he lost his life.  This incident reminded me of a line in Dr. Martin Luther King’s famous speech, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skins but by the content of their character.”  This young man was judged simply by the color of his skin and not given an opportunity to display his character.  How often do you and I do the same thing?

In 2012, one would think that Dr. King’s word (spoken in 1963) would have taken some root.  This blatant disrespect for human life was further exacerbated when the police did not find it necessary to investigate the matter any further than the shooter’s claim of self-defense.  What are we saying here?  Does this loyalty (philia love) to friends, family and community apply only when the community looks like we do?  In this multi-cultural, multi-ethnic society in which we live  (considering the world as we know it is shrinking thanks to technology), our community consists of more than the person living next door who looks like us.  Our community is now the Universe, and as such injustice anywhere affects justice everywhere according to Dr. King.  Our futures are interwoven with each other’s whether we want to admit it or not.

Where is our basic humanness or human values?  French born microbiologist, Rene Dubos noted, “Our society is highly expert in controlling the external world and even the human mind, but our relationships with other human beings and the rest of creation are constantly diminishing in significance.”  As citizens of the world, it behooves us to be respectful of each other sans consideration for their race, creed or ethnicity, thereby stalling the rapid deterioration of human significance.  We are all precious in the sight of God and while we acknowledge that people make mistakes, we must do our part to deal justly with others.  The officers of the law failed this young man and if we sit quietly by there will be no justice (for Trayvon and ultimately us) and his life would have lost its significance. 

If you have the opportunity, please read the poem Pax et Amare by Richard S. Pope.  The first verse says, “Man professes love for Man: Man talks of humanity; Yet history belies the talk; History shows Man a lie.”  What happened last month in Florida is now history and it contradicts the words of the Declaration of Independence – that ALL men would be guaranteed the inalienable (unchallengeable) rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Is history showing us to be liars?  Are the rights of some being challenged, while the rights of others are being protected?  I’m just thinking . . .

Fill Your Niche - Part 2

Richard Chang said, “Passion without purpose is meaningless.”  Last week we began looking at identifying our passion and working towards its purpose.  Have you identified what you believe your purpose to be?  If you haven’t quite done that yet, let me help you out.  Let’s begin by considering our entire being – body, personality and Spirit/Soul.

·         Body – do you have the body type required for your purpose?  Are you sick often, do you tire easily?  Maybe you have slender fingers and could be a great hand model.  (Anything to do with your body and its functioning.)

·         Personality – do you have the required personality to carry out your purpose?  For example, are you an introverted, shy person trying to be a television star?

·         Spirit/Soul – this part of your being has a connection with the Creator and should reflect your genuine fulfillment in carrying out your purpose.

Another way we can confirm our purpose is to think about the following:

·         When you were a child, what did you fantasize about doing?

·         What do your friends and family think you’re best suited to?  (These must be trusted individuals in whom you can confide.)

·         Look at your present environment, does it reveal what interests and excites you?

Once you have done an inventory (using the above points as a guide), create a vision statement for yourself (this is the end product you want to see – should be consistent with your character qualities and interests).  The next thing you want to do after creating your vision statement is to create a mission statement.  A mission statement is really a declaration of action i.e. the actions we need to take to accomplish our vision.

With your vision and mission statements in hand, you must now come up with a strategy for filling your niche.  Please note that your strategy will entail setting clear and specific goals and achieving them.  Another thing to be mindful of is that we live in the real world and there will be obstacles.  Obstacles (both internal and external) will seek to quench our drive at times, but here is where you need a support system – friends who will hold you accountable, mentors or family members.  Internal obstacles include negative thoughts and doubt, while external obstacles may include finances, family obligations etc.; however, a good support system will help to buffer the effects and get you back on track. 

Last but not least, try to volunteer in the field in which you’re interested.  That way, you serve the greater good of mankind while learning more about your intended niche.  Volunteering is also a perfect way to get mentors and tell you whether you’re truly filling your niche or chasing fame. 

This medium merely scratches the surface of identifying and pursuing your passion and purpose.  If you need further assistance, do not hesitate to contact me and we can take this journey together.

As usual, I am just thinking . . .

Find Your Niche

If you had no concern for money, what would you do with your time?  Just thinking about this activity brings a smile to some of our faces.  Does this activity serve others – elevating humankind as a whole?  If the answer is yes, then you can honestly say that your passion has purpose.  It has been said that once you love what you do, you never work a day in your life.  Some of us are blessed to have our passion and purpose aligned which sometimes causes us to spend countless hours on it, yet never having to ‘work’.  This would be heaven on earth!  An actor once said in an interview that his passion was acting and his purpose was to help educate children which he does through his foundation.  In addition to that, the roles he accepts also educate children about life in general – wow, talk about heaven on earth.  He also uses his ‘celebrity’ status to expose the children to things which they would not normally have had the exposure. 

What about you?  What is your passion?  What is your purpose?  Are you willing to make difference before you leave this earth?  What will your legacy be?  Yes, I know I just hurled five questions at you in quick succession; but here is why – I strongly believe with all my heart that we were each sent here with a purpose.  Whatever that purpose may be, it is yours and you should embrace it regardless of what others think of it.  You may be called to be a great mother, wife, doctor, diver, or teacher – and the list goes on – whatever your purpose, do it to the best of your ability. 

Are you willing to embark on a little journey with me?  After you’ve identified your purpose (it may take a little while longer for some), we need to be honest with ourselves.  Are we seeking fame or fulfillment?  We get fulfillment when we identify our niche and fill it – not only are the recipients of our work blessed, but God is glorified and we feel ‘full’.  Some successful people did not set out seeking fame, they just wanted to make a difference and their lives were catapulted onto a world trajectory.   Please understand that nothing is wrong with fame, however, if your motive in doing something is simply for grandiose reasons, it may not be as fulfilling.  Consider the story of King David in 1 Samuel 16 – he had no intentions of becoming a king.  To his mind, his calling was to be a shepherd – which he did to the best of his ability – and because God saw his heart (motive), he became a great King [shepherding] Israel’s people.  Although this was an over-simplification of the David story, read his entire story beginning in 1 Samuel chapter 16, there you will identify both David’s passion and purpose coming into alignment.

Take some time to chew on what has been presented and next week, we will take an in-depth look at identifying our purpose and working towards it.

You know me . . . I’m just thinking.

The War Within

 Have you ever had a war within – a situation where you had to choose from two vastly opposing courses of action?  Well, we have all had them (whether we want to admit it or not) and as a matter of fact we have them more often than we realize.  Social psychologists call this cognitive dissonance – where we carry conflicting beliefs, ideas and values etc.  To understand in the simplest form, consider the following proverb - A Cherokee grandfather sitting with his grandchildren told them, “In life there is a terrible fight taking place inside us - a fight between two wolves.  One is evil: he is fear, anger, envy, greed, arrogance, self-pity resentment, and deceit.  The other is good: he is joy, serenity, humility, confidence, generosity, truth, gentleness, and compassion.” A child asked, “Grandfather, which wolf will win?” The elder looked him in the eye. “The one you feed.”

What jumped out at me was the response – “The one you feed.”  How do we feed our wolves?  In my opinion, we feed them through our thoughts.  Our thoughts dictate our choices which manifest themselves in our speech, action and overall character.  Paul espoused this (more eloquently than I do) when he wrote to the congregation at Philippi, ^“Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse” (Philippians 4:8 – The Message).   If we feed the wolf (fill our minds) with noble thoughts, our resulting speech and actions would be polite, respectful and selfless.  Does this mean we will be perfect?  No, it simply means that even when we are wrong about something, our consciences are clear because we acted without an ulterior to hurt, belittle or bring down another.  When a wolf is fed purity, the host (person in whom it lives) will act from an authentic place of respect for others, including all living creatures.

Whereas, when the evil wolf is fed, we act sans care for the wellbeing of others, there is no justice with selfishness and greed running rampant among societies.  Why is it so easy to feed this wolf?  It is easier to feed because it takes into consideration only three people – Me, Myself and I – with no thought of how these actions will affect others.  Psychologist Carl Jung believed that the images of universal experiences contained in the collective unconscious are called archetypes.  He further identified three archetypes:

·         Persona – the mask or public face that we wear to protect ourselves.

·        Animus or Anima – both the biological and psychological aspects of masculinity and femininity (which coexists in both sexes).

·        Shadow – the most dangerous and powerful of the archetypes.  It is our dark side, thoughts feelings and actions that we tend to disown by projecting them outward.

Jung helped me to realize that when the good wolf is fed, you can be an authentic person with no need for a persona because people interact with what is presented to them. If we are always presenting a false self, people interact with us on a superficial level; and thus the cycle continues.  However, if I present a kind, gracious person to people (more times than not) our interactions would be more authentic.

So, whether you call the evil within you a wolf or a shadow – it is there.  Are you going to feed it?  I’m just thinking …